I cannot talk about my childhood church experiences without talking about my dad.

Dad was a coal miner through and through. He wasn’t a personable person until he got with other miners. I remember listening to them. It was like another language and a completely different culture. I never knew anyone’s real name. I do, however, remember some of their “names”.

Dad was always “Preacher.” He has received things from the mines that were personalized with “Preacher” and not “EJ,” or “Earnel.” Then there was “Monkey,” “Lizard,” “Ugly,” “Squirrelly,” just to name a few. They could say any of the nicknames and everyone just knew who they were. Quite frankly, I didn’t know “Squirrelly” from “Lizard!” They all knew. I often wondered if they would even recognize their real name.

The only other thing dad loved more than mining was preaching. Thus, the name Preacher. I would assume underground was where the two became one. A coal mining preacher. He loved both so much. When he had to retire from the mines, half of him was missing, so he preached more often and longer!

A few other things he loved were peanut butter and potato chips. Not together but the love for them was the same!

SO MY CHURCH (BRAT) STORY begins:

As you know, by reading my other blogs, we went to church nightly. It didn’t matter if there was school the next day or nothing the next day. We were usually traveling at midnight from somewhere in that 8-passenger van. It was always filled with people and equipment. But, that was when my dad was happiest.

His driving was horrendous, though! That may be why he would always put his Bible under his seat. I grew up not knowing it was dangerous, not to mention illegal, to pass in a blind curve. I grew up thinking you could decide what lane of the road you wanted, and then the other guys could have what was left. I had no clue that it was ok for someone to pass you when the lines were broken on the road. I have seen my dad pass his turn-off so the person behind him couldn’t pass him. He would keep it at a speed no one could get around. You know, the kind of people I complain about now on the road! He and my mom argued all the way to church and then back home (if it was a short drive) over his driving. One of his favorite lines to her was, “Oh, Honey, sit back and act like you are in a GreyHound!”

I know the angel that God sent to guard us had to have fractured wings, a concussion, sprained wrists, dislocated arms, and needed healing for their legs, just trying to keep us safe. Battered but not completely broken! I was none the wiser, as it was normal to me. Thankfully George taught me to drive correctly!

Dad enjoyed driving at night when everyone was asleep. Well, everyone but me usually. I liked to look out the windows and watch the blur of the trees as we went by them way too fast. I enjoyed the quiet of the van because our house was always loud, and everyone was in a hurry. But, I didn’t like not having anyone to talk to, so I would “try” to talk to my dad. He wouldn’t have any of it. That was his time for the same reasons! But I would try. One night, he told me if I didn’t hush, he would put me in the u-haul (we had to pull that night for some reason), take me to a hill, and let it go. I thought, “Wow, that may be fun!” I told him how fun that would be. I asked him where and when and for more details. He never kept that promise!

He wanted to be left to his own thoughts and no talking because he just wanted to eat his big bag of family-size chips in silence. He would sit them on the passenger’s side floorboard and reach over to get them out of the bag. When they were first opened and fresh, it was easy. The chips were at the top, and there wasn’t much reaching for them. But, as the bag would begin to dwindle, it was harder and harder to get the chips out of the bag. As he would try to get the chips out of the bottom of the bag, he would swerve all over the road. As he did this, he would jerk the wheel back and forth, slinging us everywhere. My mom would wake up and know what he was after. I can hear the same conversation (in different ways) they always had even now, and it would go something like this:

Mom (waking up from a sound sleep at 2am): EJ, what are you doing?!

Dad: Oh, Honey, just go back to sleep and hush!

Mom: EJ, are you reaching for the chips? In my floorboard? How do you think you are going to reach them?

Dad: I have been doing this a long time, I know how to do it. Go back to sleep and leave the rest to me! As he was swerving all over the road like a drunk person!

One night coming home from somewhere out of state, we were driving on the interstate. This argument scenario was playing out. As they were arguing, I heard sirens!

I looked and a State Trooper was behind us flashing lights and siren blaring. Mom and dad were deep in conversation and I am not sure how long it took him to pull off.

When he pulled off the road, the State Trooper came to the driver’s side of the van. Hand on his weapon (still in the holster). This has been 40+ years ago, things were different then.

State Trooper: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Dad, obliviously unaware his driving was that bad: No, sir I don’t.

State Trooper: Sir, have you been drinking tonight?

Dad (remember he thinks he is funny!): Only from the wine of the Spirit (as he grinned thinking the State Trooper would know the “Christianese” he was speaking).

State Trooper: Excuse me, sir?

Dad (realizing the joke wasn’t as funny as he thought it would be): No, sir, I am a preacher and I am coming back from a revival. Let me show you (as he was reaching under his seat for his Bible).

State Trooper: Sir, do not reach under your seat. Sir! (Dad still thinking he could show him the Bible to prove his point). Sir! Sir!

Dad: Officer it is my Sword (of the spirit) – my Bible! (Really dad, you had to say sword!?)

State Trooper (looking with a flashlight through the van windows and seeing all the long dresses and long hair and equipment. It finally registered what dad was saying.). Sir, are you aware you were swerving all over the road?

Dad: I was just trying to get in the bottom of the chip bag (as he showed the trooper the large opened bag on the passenger’s floorboard).

State Trooper (getting the picture and tried not to laugh). Sir, be careful you have some precious cargo in there! Drive safe.

Dad: I know, I have another unopened bag of BBQ chips in the back!

WHAT’S ON MY MIND?  GLAD YOU ASKED

Sometimes we go through life, and we do not realize how wrong things are. Things are normal because that is how it was modeled to us. We do not know it is a dangerous way to live. The other person is calmly, destructively living their life, and we are just going along on the ride with them.

That person could be a parent. You may have grown up around addiction. Around toxic relationships. Around people just driving right over you and bullying you. You didn’t realize the damage. You didn’t realize the hurt that came to you. You didn’t realize how that shaped your life.

That is until God sends someone in your life that says, “Hey, let’s do it this way. God’s way!” “That is not right. You are going to get hurt, or you will hurt someone else.”

Sometimes we think we are doing the right thing and doing it God’s way. We have to stop, listen and take a good look around us. How did Jesus live? What does Scripture tell us about this?

I think we will choose the right path when we know what it is. We will quit looking for our own way of doing things and look to God. Look at the Godly leaders God places in our lives to help direct us to a Godly, Biblical path. There are Godly leaders placed specifically in the church for direction. You should always put their words up against scripture. Scripture wins every time. We cannot “cherry pick” what we like or do not like about God’s Word. I know some people may get bent out of shape about that statement, but it is Biblical. The scriptures can be used out of context and mean something completely different, but there is also the truth when used as it was intended. (another time and another blog lol).

People are regularly taking a flashlight (to shed light on our lives) and peer into our windows (lives). What do they see when they peek inside? Do they see precious cargo? Do they see the character of God? Do they see forgiveness? Do they see us loving each other even when it is hard?

Bottom line is this: We are responsible for keeping our attitude and character under the leadership of Jesus.

It is hard to live by “love your enemies,”

Matthew 5:44 – But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

“do good to those that despitefully use you.”

Luke 6: 28 – “Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” 

Pray for those that hate you (See Matthew 5:44)

But that is what we are commanded to do. Do I want to? No. Do I have to? Also. No. I have a choice of what I am carrying my vehicle. If I want to obey His commands, then YES I have to love them no matter what!

Let’s love like Jesus – Recklessly! Settle your mind and hearts on Jesus. When you are ready to, let’s pray. Be in that place that His Presence can walk right in the room with you!

PRAY THIS WITH ME TODAY (in your own words)

Loving Father,

Thank You for the example of Jesus Who cried, “Father forgive them” on the cross. Help me to be one that freely and willingly prays forgiveness over those who have positioned themselves as my enemies, and those who, for whatever reason, dislike or try to harm me.

I pray that everything that I learned growing up, physically or spiritually, that is not like You, show me. Help me to put it out of my life. I do not want any ill feelings, hurt or a troubled heart. I know I am not the only one feeling this from time to time. I pray for all my brothers and sisters that are gong through this right now.

Jesus, let me be kind as You are kind. Let me love as You love. Let me forgive as You forgive!

In Jesus Name

Amen!