If you have a child that is old enough to talk, you will never be able to talk on the phone again. Ever!!!

Even though I had no kids, I still had Tiffany running around my house as a toddler! So I got my fill of questions!

SO MY STORY begins:

Everyone knows that George and I never had kids, but if you know us, you know that Tiffany has always been with us! I couldn’t change diapers, wipe nasty noses, clean up puke, or wipe dirty butts, but I was still a great aunt! Lol. She loved staying at my house; she eventually moved in permanently. She had her room. She decorated it and had her clothes and toys there.

She was always a nosy little thing! At the store, it was, “Why are you getting that?” “Can I have this?” “Why are you getting that color?” “Why can’t I pick out the groceries.” Needless to say, I wouldn’t take her if I could get out of it! 

Let me start with saying that when George is at work, he will call me to say “Hi” and “I love you” when he gets a chance. He still does this! I love it when he takes the time to call even if it is just a few minutes.

One day he called, and we were talking, and I kept hearing Tiff say, “Who is that?” “Huh, who is that?” “Hey, who are you talking to?” “Can I talk to them? Who is it?” “Why won’t you tell me who it is!?” I just ignored her as long as I could. She was relentless!

Finally, I said, “Be quiet; I am talking to my boyfriend!” 

She just said, “Oh,” and walked away. The rest of the day, she barely talked to me. She wouldn’t eat. She was acting weird (more so than usual, lol). I would try to talk to her; she would almost cry and run to her room. This went on all day long until George got home from work.

George got home at 9 pm. We call those his “Rite-Aid Days.” It was long 12-hour days. When he got home, he needed time to decompress from his day. Usually, I would say, “hello” and let him be alone for a bit so he could breathe. I taught Tiffany that we “need to give Uncle George some time when he gets home,” and she would always do that. She would run up to him, hug him, and say, “Hi, George; I will talk to you later,” then she would go on her way.

But this particular day, she met him at the door. When he came in, she burst out in tears! I was shocked! I had no idea what was going on in her head. What was so bad that she would do this? I mean this was dramatic, even for Tiffany!

George looked at me, and I shrugged my shoulders. He tried calming her down because she was sobbing so hard. She could hardly talk between the sobs. Finally, after a little while, she could speak, but she refused to look at me.

George got down, looked her in the eye, and said, “Now, Tiff, why are you crying so much? Can you tell me?”

Tiffany pointed at me and began sobbing again, and in between the sobs, she said, “I hate to tell you this, but Wendy has a boyfriend!!!!!!”

I was shocked and started laughing so much that I had to leave the room. George told Tiff to stay where she was and that he would be back.

He came into the room where I was and he knew exactly what she was talking about! It took me a second before I put it together. 

I told George, “Boy, she didn’t care to throw me under the bus immediately, did she?”

With a smile, he walked back to the kitchen to explain to Tiff that he WAS my boyfriend and talked to her about her listening in on other people’s conversations!

WHAT’S ON MY MIND?  GLAD YOU ASKED

As I think about this situation, it becomes clear that this is how many people live their lives. Coming in at the beginning or end of a conversation and then making up the middle part. They are convinced that is how it is! Never asking the person about it and think they know something that they don’t.

This is how gossip starts. It starts with just one person taking something out of context, putting their own spin on it, and repeating it. Tearing others down to make themselves look good.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Lies and gossip are among the things that the Lord hates.

Proverbs 6:16-19 (KJV) These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Let’s list them:

1. A proud look
2. A lying tongue
3. Hands that shed innocent blood
4. A heart that devises wicked imaginations
5. Feet that are swift to run to mishchief
6. A false witness that speaks lies
7. A person who sows discord among the church

Listening to conversations you are not privy to and then making up what you do not know is a “false witness.” 

Have you heard people say things like, 

“I have been to that church; all they talk about is money.” When the person has never been to that particular church or was there when they took up an offering (which is typical for any church).

“I was there, so I know what was said.” When they were nowhere to be seen during a particular conversation with other people or lied about what they have heard by putting their own twist on things.

“That Pastor is having an affair, or that is what I heard.” When there was no affair, someone got mad, left the church, accused the Pastor, and stomped out.

“Those people hate others who do not believe or live like them.” When you disagree with a particular person or their lifestyle, when you do not believe the same or live the same, that does not mean that you hate the other person or the other person should hate us. It simply means that we pray for them if we think they are wrong and love them into the Kingdom of God. 

Here is another version of that same scripture.

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19 (ESV)

The Bible tells us that we should live peaceably with one another as much as possible.

Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

What does this mean? This is not a statement of total pacifism, however. Paul says two crucial things: “If possible” and “So far as it depends on you.” 

Paul knew that conflict was sometimes unavoidable. Some people are just not interested in making peace with us. There will be a time and place to disagree, to dispute, or even to fight for what is right. But we have to try to keep peace as much as it lies within us to do it. We are not a doormat, but we are God’s people trying to do the right thing for Him, us, and others. 

How can we live this way? For one thing, we must be willing to admit when we are wrong, own our part of the problem, apologize and make things right, and forgive as far as it is in our power to do so. This is where the idea of “so far as it depends on you” comes into play. Our own ego, pride, desires, and prejudices should never get in the way of living peaceably with others. We have to show love, and humbleness, look out for the welfare of others, and agree to disagree at times. 

Just like Tiffany was so upset because she thought she knew something, sometimes we are upset because we assume and do not ask. We repeat things instead of praying. We get some satisfaction from thinking someone is doing wrong, and it is our “duty” to tell the world. When reality, it is quite the opposite. We are to pray for them and talk to them one on one.

Scripture tells us what to do when we see our brother (or sister) straying from the Word of God and how it tells us to live, we are to go to them. 

As Christ-followers, we can judge other Christ followers according to the Word. However, we cannot judge others until we have considered our sins and repented them. We cannot judge others according to what we think is correct, but only what God says is right or wrong. 

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

I Timothy 5:20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

We have guidelines if there is a conflict or you see your brother in sin. We are to restore them gently but not judge them harshly and never forget that we, too, are sinful by nature. We forgive and restore them, even if they sinned against us.

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).

Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,

Matthew 18:21–22 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Why would I go into all of this? Gossip, restoration, looking at ourselves first before looking at others’ lives and how they live? Because the Bible is quite plain about it. We need to stop using the scriptures out of context. If the first thing someone says when you talk to them about how they live as a child of God is, “The Bible says not to judge me,” they do not know the whole context of scripture. 

Matthew 7:1-22 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

These scriptures tell us not to judge others harshly and forget about our sins. I cannot tell you to “not lie” if I am lying. I cannot talk to you about sinning in one way while I am sinning in another way. 

I say this often but find a Godly accountability person that you allow to speak truth into your life. Ensure they have an accountability person speaking the truth into their own lives. 

Let’s live our lives to the fullest of God’s Word.

Let’s live at peace with others around us.

Let’s live our lives so others can see Jesus in us.

Let’s speak truth.

Let’s live where the Lord does not hate the way we represent Him, but others can see Jesus in us.

Let’s take time to pray. Get alone, find yourself a place of solitude to pray. Listen to this worship song as you prepare to come before the Lord.

PRAY THIS WITH ME TODAY (in your own words)

Dear Lord, I am asking for you to cleanse me of all the sin in my life. I repent (I turn from) my sin and run back to You. You have loved me like no other could ever love me. I want to please You and You alone. I want my life to be pleasing to You. Lord I see You running after me. Calling me back to You. Help me help others know You deeper.

I am asking You to prepare my heart to hear You, to serve you, and to obey You. Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary for You to dwell in.

In Jesus Name, Amen