By Faye Morgan

We have been talking about grief. How it affects us and how our lives change in the blink of an eye. If you haven’t read Confessions Devotional – Dealing and Overcoming Grief Part 1 & 2, I would like for you to go and read those first. Hear my personal story and steps 1 & 2 of the grieving process.

Today we will finish talking about the five stages of grief.

We have talked about the first two stages, which are:

1. Denial
2. Anger

STAGE 3 – BARGAINING

Before the loss of your loved one, you will promise anything if God would just let them live. You try bargaining with God. This is often filled with many statements that may start with, ” If only….” We may still be angry with God, and it may take the form of a temporary truce. “If you let them live, God, then I will…” is often heard in the ears of God. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the pain. We begin to think there is something WE could have done differently to keep them alive and healthy. When we grieve, the emotions run deep, and we agonize within ourselves, and this robs us of our peace, joy, happiness, and hopeful future without the one we lost.

Let me be clear; it is natural to grieve. There are days that we are empty. We are numb, and then we feel the pain all over again. I want to leave you with this promise from the heart of David in the Psalms:

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

STAGE 4 – DEPRESSION

When depression seems to settle in, you might feel more able to accept the loss, but you cannot cope with the loss. You spiral out of control and “have to look up to see the bottom.” You are as low as you can possibly go. The realization that the one we lost is not coming back brings this deep, dark depressive state of living. You feel alone and become overcome with the deep hole of loneliness that no one else can fill.

We fear the unknown—our future without them. You had your life planned out with a future with your loved one, but it will never be. So, now, you must work on adjusting your life.

Depression can come and go. It is a natural stage of grief, but it is a stage, not a place to stop and live your life moving in and out of the darkness.

If you sink into a low place, don’t beat yourself up. Rest in the promises of His Word. Again, let’s look at the Psalms:

Psalms 4:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Get in a quiet place with God. Let Him speak peace to your hurting heart. Peace helps the healing of the hurt. He will pick up up and carry you when necessary.

STAGE 5 – ACCEPTANCE

You have rotated in and out of the stages of grief at this point. You are now ready to accept the loss. You are prepared to let go of the many emotions you have been experiencing that keep your life in turmoil.

You now live in a world without your spouse, grandparents, aunt or uncle, a sister or a brother, a father or mother, or maybe a best friend. You must begin to live again, some way without them. You have to breathe again, without them.

We cannot change our experiences, but we can change how we relate to those experiences. These feelings and emotions become part of your story, part of you, part of your healing, part of your new life you now are living.

This loss will become woven into your story and who you are.

The only way to get to the other side of the loss is through grief. Life is not going to be the same, but life can be good again. We must place our future in God’s healing hands.

We must let Him hold us up in our times that we feel like we have no strength to stand.

GOD KNOWS US AND SEES US. HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN US. 

Remember, God knows grief. He knows the pain of losing His only Son. He weeps with those that are suffering loss. He knows your suffering, and He feels the pain. His pain identifies with us. Take a moment to stop and listen, and you will hear Him say, “Here, take My hand, and we will walk this road together.” Just you and God, hand in hand, walking through this journey we call life.

In the meantime, we have this blessed hope and promise in Revelation 21:4.

Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

HOLD ON TO THE PROMISE OF BRIGHTER DAYS!

These promises are not meant for when we “go to eternity with Him,” but for us now.

I am living proof that God keeps His promises of peace, hope and a bright future living on this earth. I have learned to breathe again.

Quiet your heart, listen to this worship song, and then we will pray.

LET’S PRAY!

Jesus,

I pray for peace to every person that is suffering. Suffering the loss of someone they love. Even those suffering because they are dealing with the fact that someone they love may not live another day. Jesus, thank you for the hope of eternity with You. Just as Paul felt, If we have hope in this life only, we would be miserable, but we have hope in the promise of eternity around the throne of God!

I sent peace and hope into each home that is suffering. Let them feel the Presence of the Father. Let them feel the peace that Jesus said only He could give. Other people may not understand, but Lord, we understand exactly where it comes from!

We love You,

In You name we pray ~ Amen

Meet the Author

Faye Morgan has lived in Lynco, WV most of her life where she and her husband, EJ, raised their five children. Several of their children are now in full time ministry. She enjoys the time she spends with her four grandchildren. Faye has worked in ministry with her late husband for over 40 years. Pastoring, evangelizing, teaching, and singing. Faye is honored to share her story to help others that are experiencing grief.