I saw a meme the other day that I found hilarious. It said, “Some days I totally knock it out of the park; other days I ask where my phone is while I am talking on it.”

I have those days. I have learned to laugh at them. You know, those days that I would be looking for my car keys everywhere, and they were in my hand the whole time or trying to unlock a door with the wrong key. I tried to use my mixer, and it wouldn’t turn on because I hadn’t plugged it in. I mean, the scenarios are endless! I think I have done them all at least once in my lifetime! Just the other day, I replaced the battery in my clock in the bathroom that I have had for 20+ years; I didn’t realize that I put the battery in upside down and went for a week thinking that my favorite clock was torn up and I would have to get a new one.

There are some days, I wonder why I even get out of bed! Then, I get out in the world and realize I am not the only one!

When you have to work, it doesn’t matter what your day started out to be, you go to work and make the best of it. You think you are the only one in the world that is having that kind of day. But, then you go into a restaurant or through a drive thru for something cold to drink and get that one person who is having one of those days!

It amazes me how drive thru workers, sandwich makers, waiters, and waitresses get through their day dealing with rude, belligerent people and still keep a smile on their face (even when they want to cry).

But, it also amazes me that some workers cannot connect the dots. I LOVE it when I get the workers that are not just having a bad day, they really are doing the best they can, yet still can’t get it, then do not understand why I am laughing.

I want to share a couple of hilarious stories of those moments I just shake my head and say, “Huh?”

SO MY CHURCH (BRAT) STORIES begin:

STORY #1

I rarely stop at a fast food place, but one day I was so thirsty and was wanting tea. I usually get unsweetened with a packet of sweet-n-low to kick up the flavor. This particular day I was in my car driving and didn’t want the mess of opening the tea in my car. I am very particular about my car. (There is no eating or drinking unless it is water. I like for my car to smell “pretty” and not like a pizza parlor with a dead rat in it.) I pulled up to the speaker to put in my order:

Drive thru speaker person: Hello, how can I help you today?

Me: I would like an ice tea with…

Drive thru speaker person: What size ma’am?

Me: Oh, I am sorry, I should have said I would like a large ice tea. Make it half and half, please (meaning 1/2 sweet and 1/2 unsweet tea).

Drive thru speaker person: Ok, ma’am which one do you want on the bottom?

Me: What?

Drive thru speaker person (a little irritated): Do you want the sweet or the unsweet on the bottom?

Me laughing: What? IDK, just surprise me! (I have never heard that question before!)

Drive thru speaker person: Oh, ok, I will!

I pulled around to pay and she proudly announced she told them to put the sweet on the bottom because it just seemed like sweet would be better on the bottom!!!!

I smiled and said: Thank you for making my tea better today!

She was so proud!

SQUIRREL: Something else I do with ice tea is put creamer in it. Which is so good. I figured if I like it hot with creamer, why not try cold? I did and I liked it. Another thing I like with my unsweetened ice tea is orange instead of lemon. If you are an ice tea fan, you have to try it!

STORY #2

I was checking out at a convenience store. My total was $14.81. I dug around in my purse and gave her $15.81 so I would have a dollar bill and not change flinging around in my purse. I handed her the money:

Cashier: Oh, you gave me too much!

Me: No, I gave you this amount so you can just give me back $1 and not change.

Cashier: I am sorry, ma’am but we don’t do that here.

Me: What? You just have to give me $1 back instead of $.19.

Cashier calling her manager over: Sir, you need to come here please.

Manager: Hi, what is the problem.

Cashier: Well, her total is $14.81 and she gave me $15.81 and you can see that is too much. She said for me to just give her $1 back.

Manager: I am sorry ma’am, but we do not do that here!

For the first time in a long time – I was speechless. I just left and let them have the extra $1. They earned it.

STORY #3 (last one)

I went to a sub shop and I was getting lunch for the office. One of the pastors wanted a footlong club and told me what he wanted on it. I got everyone else’s order and they were all 6″ subs. (That is important to know)

I go to the sub shop, put in my orders.

Me: I have several orders here. First, I want a footlong club sandwich with…(finished my order)

Sub Maker looking at me and then at her co-workers: Hey, we are out of footlong bread. I cut all the footlong breads in half making your 6″ subs.

Me I could see a few 6″ pieces of bread in the oven: Well, that is ok, just take 2 of the 6″ pieces and make a footlong, you cut it in half anyway, so not a big deal.

Sub Maker: I will have to charge you more if I do that?

Me: But why? I want a 12″ and you have 2 – 6″ pieces of bread and that makes it a footlong.

Sub Maker: I am not sure what you are trying to pull on me, but I am not losing my job over this!

Me in total disbelief: I do not see the problem. Do you have a manager? (at this point it was the principle of the matter and I wanted her manager to give her a teaching moment of working with a customer and telling her I was right that 2 – 6″ will give me my footlong club!)

Sub Maker: Yeah (yelling) Hey, Joe, come over here, this woman is going to get me fired if I do what she wants me to.

Me: Hi, Joe, nice to meet you. (I tell him my dilemma. Knowing that this will be resolved.)

Joe: Yeah, we can do that for ya, but it will cost you more!

Me: Why? I am getting the same sandwich with the same toppings.

Joe: That is not how it works around here, Little Lady!

Me did he just call me Little Lady – oh no he didn’t!

I started to open my mouth to say something and I hear someone shouting, I found a footlong piece of bread, problem solved!

Sub Maker: Ok, lady we can make your footlong now, do you want that cut in half when we wrap it!?

What can you say? I just laughed, almost hysterically!!

Joe looked at me like, you tried to pull a slick one on us, but we are too smart for you!

Yes, Joe, yes you are!

WHAT’S ON MY MIND?  GLAD YOU ASKED

How many times do you get out of bed and say to yourself, “Today, I am going to read, pray, spend time with the Lord, journal and be the best Christian I can be! I got this today!” You “say a prayer” and feel good about starting your day talking to God, and you just know this is your day – you are going to rock it! You armed yourself (by saying a prayer) and can take anything the devil or people want to throw at you!

We set out to live the verse:

Psalm 118:4

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Then, you walk out of the door, and reality sets in. You have those demanding customers. You have to make those tough decisions, and it seems like everyone in the office hates you for it. You go to the vending machine just because you need chocolate, and it takes your money but gives you no chocolate. You want to scream. You forget about your promises to God and yourself that you made when you got out of bed! And that was all before 10am! You still have until 5pm before you can clock out. What do you do?

I will tell you what we all want to do. We scream for a “do-over” for that day! You were not the best you could be, and you are pretty sure God is disappointed in you, and He is not proud to call you His child. You disappointed yourself because you thought you were ready to face the day. It seems like you are in a fog, and nothing sinks in. You are doing your best, but it is not cutting it. What then?

Do you feel like David when he said:

Psalm 130:1-8

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;  Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Israel, put your hope^r in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

We all know there are no “do-overs” in life. So, we messed up our day pretty bad. Maybe we said hateful things or thought ugly things. Perhaps we made a tough decision, and it wasn’t the right one and other people suffered, and they knew it was you who made the call! Sorry, but there are no “do-overs.”

But there is a “looking forward” in life. We can get back on our knees and talk to God. We can spend time with Him, and in His Word. We can get on our face before Him! We don’t do all of the talking, and we sit and listen for HIM to talk back to us! We call that “soaking in God’s presence.” Just being with Him in the moment. Nothing else matters. The laundry doesn’t matter. The dirty dishes do not matter. The house that needs to be cleaned does not matter. All that matters is Him. You and Jesus in that solitary place. After these encounters with God, we know there is a tomorrow where we can do things right. Do things better. Do things in a positive way that we missed the day before.

Philippines 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

As we get ready to pray, find a quiet spot to be alone with the Lord!

 

PRAY THIS WITH ME TODAY (in your own words).

Lord, I know I fail You daily. It may be “out and out” sin or the sin of disobedience, and I am asking You to forgive me. Forgive me when I fall. I know You are perfect in every way, and Lord, I want to be more like You every day. I want to love like You. I want to forgive like You. I want to be an image-bearer of You!

You are my only hope of being who I should be for You and to other people. Let me bring Heaven to earth and Your glory to those that need it.

Jesus, I want to tell Your stories of Your goodness and mercy. I want to repeat the good things of God!

Lord, make me a vessel that You can use every day. Let me lay aside what I want to do and how I want to act so others can see You through me and the way I live!

Amen